The script is a dud (again), characters are underwritten, some gestures don’t seem to have any purpose, there is conflict between what shows and what means. Camera work is the only bright spot, but you can also argue that he sacrificed the content for the form.
There is no way to avoid the mess. The mess you made of your life, of your body, of your sanity, by giving everything you have to pleasing people you will never know. Do you like this life? This life that you dreamed about?